Cassie Nova • 03-17-17

Hi-diddly-ho, neighborinos! Adulting sometimes can really suck.

Cassie-NovaRemember the good old days when you could watch cartoons and think of nothing but the stupid coyote trying to catch that damn roadrunner? I still watch cartoons but think of other stuff I should be doing, or else my mind wanders to worst-case scenarios. I will watch The Simpsons and when Homer’s starts a near nuclear meltdown at the plant, I wonder, “How close are we to a nuclear war?” With the current state of our “government,” I’m worried like when I was a teenager.

Remember that TV movie The Day After, about the horrible fallout after a nuclear war on a small Kansas town? That show scared the shit out of me. I was way too young to watch that bullshit. It messed with my head. I think that movie made me into the worrier I am today. It was a while before I could lose myself in cartoons again. Still, how messed up do you have to be that your thought process goes from Looney Tunes to The Simpsons to nuclear war to Trump. And I can’t turn it off.

Maybe that’s why we all love puppy and cat videos on the internet. It’s like they are Windex to a foggy brain. Sometimes it’s just what you need to unload the heaviness on your mind. So I say, take more time to watch baby animal videos! Don’t spend all day doing it or your adulting will turn into surviving because you are a lazy piece of shit that won’t get off the freaking computer and go to work so you can pay your bills. See, my mind just went from puppies and kitties to being homeless. What the hell is wrong with me? Since there is no hope for me, let’s see if I can help others.

Dear Cassie, I just started working at a new job. My new coworkers were mentioning wanting to go watch the drag show in the Rose Room. Would love to bring them to one of my favorite places in Dallas, but these are brand new people I don’t know well. What do you think? I started two weeks ago. Would it be too soon to bring coworkers I don’t know into my comfort zone? Yours truly, cashmeoussidehowboudat.

Dear Stupid Name, I think the best thing you could do is show them who you are. If that means letting them into your comfort zone then do it, just be prepared for if it change things. Maybe they will find that they love it as much as you do and want to come out with you all the time… which could ruin everything you love because they are horrible people that won’t shut up or leave and it will all be your fault. Do you like them enough to spend a lot of time with them? Are you OK with them seeing what a sloppy drunken whore you can be? I think they should be flattered that you are even thinking of bringing them to your safe place. But proceed with caution — sometimes it is best to keep work separate from play. Once a drunken coworker that cannot hold their liquor pukes on you and you have to babysit the lightweight, things can never go back to how they were before. Good luck, Cassie.

Dear Cassie, Where does someone who is 40, used to party too much but doesn’t drink at all anymore, doesn’t mind going out but is not dying to go out alone, meet somebody? I mean, these people on My 600 lb Life have someone to wipe their hole, so why can’t I find a decent guy that wants more than sex? It seems some people can find sex anytime, anywhere, but it’s so different when you’re in your late 30s–40s to meet nice people now.The bar scene has changed a lot and don’t want to be Debbie Downer, but I’m kinda discouraged with the Dallas dating scene or where to even meet nice, quality people for more than a quick hook up. Help me. By the way, you’re blessed you have an awesome guy. Don’t take it for granted! Signed, GM4nice guy.

Dear Cassie, Where can the 30s–40s crowd go out, have a fun time and meet anyone remotely decent? The Strip is bleak. Thanks, Donny D.

Dear Cassie, I’m a good-hearted, attractive, stable guy wanting to meet a decent man but I will not settle. I am finding it very difficult to meet guys that are interested and serious about dating so how do I navigate between not settling and being too picky? Thanks, R.D.

Well GM4nice guy, Donny D and R.D., It seems there are a lot of you out there going through very similar situations. I wish I had the answers for all of you. I wish I knew of a club that attracted likeminded guys looking for more than just a quickie. I say try doing something that maybe pushes you out of your comfort zone.

If you like sports even a little, join a gay sports league or find out when they have games and be an athletic supporter. There’s volleyball, softball, basketball… hell, even go to a line-dance class. The point is, you have to put yourself out there. There is life away from the bars but you have to find it. If you are religious, try going to church. I hear there are “decent” guys there. I don’t know, I have never been… it burns.

Go to the gym, a coffee shop, a dog park (preferably with a dog) and meet people. Take chances. Give guys your number. Create a routine so that if a guy sees you someplace more than a few times, he’s more likely to say hi and start a conversation. Your chances of meeting another gay guy increase around the gayborhood, but the gays are everywhere. A decent man could just be a smile away. Corny but true. Good luck guys. Cassie.

Dear Cassie, I know it’s not your specific field, but I don’t see enough information about bisexuals even though we make up over 50 percent of the LGBTQIA community. I’m curious as to why that is and why homosexuals and heterosexuals still want to say, “make a choice,” and other such offensive directions even though it’s 2017. Bisex in the City.

Dear Bisex, You’re right that bisexuality is not something I know much about. I think many of us don’t fully understand it and that’s why people say you should make a choice. Unfortunately, labels make things easier for some to handle. To be honest, if I were single, dating a bisexual man would scare the hell out of me. I’m not talking about once you are in an established relationship, but when it’s new, how do you compete with the opposite sex? I don’t have what she has. It is mentally a little overwhelming thinking about how hard relationships can be and feeling like you have to watch out for a whole other gender. I know these thoughts are based on fear and jealousy and it’s not right but that doesn’t mean they are not there. It would seem like a bisexual person would have to work double-duty to build trust. I’ve actually never thought about it till now but being bisexual has to be harder than being straight or gay. Stay strong and carry on!

Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova
If you have a question of comment, email it to AskCassieNova@gmail.com

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition MARCH 17, 2017

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